Behr

My wish today is that Behr is running freely with a pink and blue orbee.

April 3rd was the day he was born. April 14th is the day we got Him. Today, April 20th is the day we told him goodbye.

We miss him so much. He comes up in conversation at least once a week. It's usually something like "if Behr was here, he would..." He would cuddle, he would retrieve again, he would listen better than our other two clowns.

Will said recently he doesn't think we will ever have another dog like him again. I thought he meant we wouldn't choose that coloring again. He meant that disciplined, loyal, and affectionate. I so hope he is wrong.

Behr,
I miss you. I wish you were here. You'd let me be sad and lay with me all day. I need that today. I need you to fill my time.

You were a good boy and loved so much.
Run Free Sweet Boy!

Photography Book

My groupon expires today so I had to use it...I picked Behr as my focus.
Behr's Book

Oh Behr I wish you could move into our new house with us, it has a yard and you would be so happy.

A very cool book!

This book came in the mail from Laura K. This was the coolest and really appropriate children's book ever. It was well written but I really thought it was cool because it had been passed from family to family. Each family had a owned a dog that just died. Each family signed it in the cover.





I'm not looking forward to another dog passing away and having to send it to a sad family that is missing a part of them like we are now.

1 week

I cook dinner every night. We eat at the table together every night. It occurred to me last night that we haven't done this in 1 week. The reason I knew this because when I put the plates on the table I didn't have to tell Behr to leave it. It's been 1 week since we told Behr bye, and yes it's easier today than 7 days ago...of course as I type this I get that lump in my throat.

The dogs came and laid around us while we ate, but there was that empty spot and it was a little sad. I also asked Will which photo to blow up for a canvas, I noticed his eyes getting big and red again so I stopped and I will just have to make that decision. Today Will takes Jade and Buddy to the kennel so we can go out of town, that's gonna be rough on him.

Then two damn new country songs that remind me of my sadness...even though this is about a man and my co-worker shouldn't listen to this song if she's reading. (Love you B)

oh freakin' bizarre...I just pulled this up on youtube and when she's talking she says "it's only been 1 week" what a coincidence and I've already titled this blog post and all!

A Little Bit Stronger
"I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm telling myself it will be okay. Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger."

Then who created this awful song this week...thoughts about Rod and Behr...too much
If Heaven Weren't So Far Away
"Losing them wouldn't be so hard to take, if heaven wasn't so far away."
"I'd find my bird dog Bo and take him huntin' one more time."
"If Heaven wasn't so far away, I'd pack up the kids and go for the day. Introduce to their grandpaw, watch them laugh at the way he talked..."
UHHH.
"Tell 'em we'd be back in a couple of days."

Gosh wouldn't that be easier? If we could go visit.

Orbees in Heaven

After a lot of medication, Behr continued to have Grand Mal Seizures #8 and #9 within an hour, and possibly more once we got to the e-vet last night. The next step would have been invasive with anesthesia and a breathing tube in his throat. Around 11:30 we decided to let him go. This was the hardest thing we have ever done in our life. We went back to the e-vet and loved on him one last time. I watched the shots go in, and I'm not sure I should have done that, but I didn't want Will going alone.

We came home at midnight and didn't sleep much but still woke up at 5:30am and then around 7am. I'm not at work, but plan to go in shortly.

Did I jinx this? My old blog was named Two Dogs in a Pod...meant for Jade and Behr, never meant to get Buddy. I also just received Feeling Outnumbered? How to Enjoy your Multi-Dog Household from Barnes & Noble. I'm sure not, and in a few days I will realize it was the right choice.

BUT if you know me, I can't decide where to eat dinner for fear of making a bad choice. Or whether or not to buy this house we hear about today. Much less to end Behr's life what if he would have had a good day today and wanted me to throw his Orbee? or the next step of meds would have worked like a charm.

Just awful

When I just walked in, Behr was no where in sight. He was in the laundry room staring at the wall and breathing very heavy. He was not responsive to my words.

He has bloody marks on his snout (both sides), and I noticed blood on the wall. The house was in disarray from how Will left it at lunch. Both Buddy and Jade were left out, since Behr was cozy in Buddy's crate when Will left. So my guess Behr stepped on or got in someone's way and they beat up on him. :-(



Then I made him lay down. This happened, and it's never happened like this before. His mouth is wide open and when he got up his tongue had some little spots of blood on it.

FRIENDS, do not watch this video.



Right after the 1st episode:




OMG 8PM it just happened again. Once again standing in the corner, but this time responsive when I called him. I forced him to lay down just like last time and immediate BOOM, best guess Grand Mal Seizure. So is he fighting it off by standing?

Just 2 minutes prior to what I'm calling the seizure:






Seizure:



Afterward: looking up at me crying, and bright eyed. a little clingy after he started walking around, but that's normal Behr...now he is resting on the couch. Not sleeping, but alert.

For Dr. King

Video's for the neurologist, Dr. King:





This was from April 10th, just a lot of twitching...this was before it got worse with the tongue stuff happening.

Sad Behr

Before you think this is a cute picture....his tongue isn't going back in (it has now an hour later)

Earlier today Jenwilli wrote me asking if I was excited about putting an offer on a house, because I sounded down in my email. Well she is right, and I've come here to share!

Behr has had two rough days, and I guess what is rough on me is that his bad times are 4:45-6:00pm. This is my time. So I walk in the door and he is good for a few minutes and then it's bad bad very quick.

You might say well you work, you don't know how he is during the day. But in the morning he's not like this, nor at lunch for Will. At least I don't think he's like this, Will doesn't report it or write it down in Behr's journal. Then when Will walks in the door at night, and he isn't this bad either...so at the beginning thankfully Will believed me, I do exaggerate things--so I'm kinda shocked he did this time!

Yesterday I had to hang up on Audrey so that I could grab him while he was pooping so that he didn't fall backwards into it.

Today something really different is going on, and his tongue is doing odd things. It's hanging out and he's making a sucking noise kinda. So I've video taped that for the neurologist. But these behaviors really stress me out and I always worry about him, what he's doing, and the fear of having to call Will that he's gone.

Where is the old Behr?

Last night was the first time ever Behr did not sleep with us. He chose to stay downstairs. For some people this may sound normal, but for someone that owns a German Shepherd (or knows Behr) it's bizarre. They are kind of like that Sugarland song "Stuck Like Glue"

Behr laid on the floor for hours downstairs, even when Will got up and was walking around. He was stiff, and almost like frozen. I got up and looked at him around 3am. He was in the exact same position totally on his side, and not responsive at 6am when I got out of the shower.

Then today when Will got the dogs out of the garage (Joanne was here cleaning) he wouldn't leave the crate, or couldn't not sure which. So Will carried him to the couch.

I keep looking at him and watching his chest to see if he is breathing. I am really looking to see if he is alive. He has never laid this still.

So tomorrow Will is taking him to a neurologist at 10am. I do hope we learn something. I pray it's positive, but really I hope it's anything to explain his changes.

Looking at old photos, wanna see something cute? Behr as a puppy! We didn't own him at this time, but goodness GS puppies are adorable.

"RUFF" Morning

My sunshine doesn't come from the skies,
It comes from the love in my dog's eyes.

Unknown Poet

Behr woke me up around 7:55am so I took him outside. He was alert, saw another dog, ears up and all. Within 1 minute after we passed the dog I noticed Behr dragging his front right leg. So we turn around and head back toward the house, I didn't want to be stuck way far away from the house. Next thing I know I'm holding him up as he poops so he doesn't fall into it.

Don't forget he weighs 80lbs. In Will's mind he always thinks this is small, but to me I don't outweigh him by much. We get into the house and he runs face first into the post on the stairs. His eyes, ears, nose, and front paws are twitching.

I didn't cry, which is unusual but that's cause as fast as I could grabbed a sheet put it on the couch, and laid Behr on it then went and woke Will up.

Behr is extremely sad looking right now. His head is hung low and he twitched for about an hour. We decided to re-up his meds (we are suppose to anyway after this weekend) back to where they should be to 1 full pill, not the half we had been giving him this week. So that means he will be loopy and even that much more unsure of his footing until his body get used to the medication.

He is in the corner by the door now, and Buddy will go sniff his nose every now and again to check on him. Every time I walk by him I stop and watch his chest to see if he's breathing. He is never this still.

I'm not sure I can ever be strong enough to have an old dog or a blind dog. Behr runs into things now and if I don't see it, I can still here the bump. It breaks my heart. When we walk he leans into me for support (not just ownership, I promise) or I hold him up to help him walk so his front legs don't give out and he lands on his face. This doesn't happen 24/7 like that sounded, but now that we've seen it more than 5 times in the last month something is up.

I want the old pain in the ass Behr back. Someone remind me, next time he feels good and it's not raining I need to take his picture. Shown above are our two favorite pictures.

Behr and Jade's Challenge

**If you are just catching up, please scroll down and watch Buddy on the next post, his video is more entertaining.

Buddy did so well with The Dog Fighter toy I was a little hesitant to try it with the other two dogs. However, I have the day off so Behr got his turn next. He is not food driven at all. He prefers a ball. So I put cheese inside as a treat. This is on the easy level. I think I can teach Behr to take each piece out and bring it to me in my hand.



Jade's turn came last. Keep in mind Jade gets excited very easily and when I get excited it's even worse. She barks often during training and when she doesn't understand what I want from her that escalates the barking as well.

This video is painfully slow and I ended up turning it off, no one wants to watch an 8 minute clip!

Behr's Weekend Visit

To the trainer's house!
I'm super excited about this boarding/training opportunity with Charleston School for Dogs.

We will hand him off this Friday and pick him up late Sunday night.
So I'm sure he will be able to set the table, do multiplication facts, and tap dance when we return! Nah, but maybe down faster, heel closer, and keep his cool around the very smart GSD's that live there!

Our New Bed

Costco $20 smells like wood chips, so reminds me of a hamster...but not so bad.
We thought Buddy would be the first...and I think he was, but here was the first encounter.

Yes, I was watching the Dog Whisperer, I know many of you dislike him, but we still agree with some of his ideas. Mute if you need!

After that he went to the rug in front of the door and laid down. At first we didn't quite get the hang of it.


Everyone seems to love it!

Woo Hoo! GO Behr!

After group lessons in the rain yesterday with quite a few other dog-crazy folks with us...

The trainer emailed me this,
"I thought Behr did well at class yesterday…."

Woo Hoo!! I love you, Behr.

I did show off a bit. He called us down to show how Behr heels and he goes around me to the heeling position. Then he was saying that is one way, and he was going to tell about the other way...and I said oh, we can do that too. We say left, and that way Behr comes to the side and heels, not all the way around us. I did a little jump and got a laugh from the crowd. I loved it! I was really proud.

Trainer Called

The trainer called tonight to ask how Behr was doing. I was happy to report I've been walking both him and Jade at the same time without any problems.

The trainer was very nice, but in short he said Behr will fail the Canine Good Citizen Test tonight, so you don't have to come. I told him I wanted to. I talked to Will and then I called the trainer back to tell him thanks for saving me the gas across town and that we won't come.

I'm bummed. Even though I knew he couldn't accept a stranger or another dog. I was still hopeful and looking forward to going, even just to see him pass a few items.

I think it just kinda hurt my pride, or my hope for Behr. We have grown so much closer just from taking this class, which makes me very happy just getting that from the class, no CGC is okay.
I didn't want to lose this, so I'm adding it here.
A great internet friend, that I've also met IRL wrote this to me about this post:

I know I don't know Behr like you and Tommy do, but from an outsider's perspective, he really is a good dog. You guys just have very high expectations (which is awesome, because you are working towards getting him where you want him to be) but you should know that when I look at Behr I see a good, intelligent, very well behaved typical young GSD with energy to burn. He knows more commands than my Maggie who I've had for almost 7 years now- he's just very clear letting other dogs and people know that he sees them when he's on leash!

I've walked Behr and Buddy with you before and I remember being shocked because I thought they both behaved so well! Sure, they tugged at the leash and barked sometimes, but that's no worse than Maggie constantly getting underfoot and coming close to killing me except that she doesn't frighten people when she does it. And you and DH are awesome for spending the fortune you're spending on getting him to the level you want him to be at. Other people might be afraid of him but honestly I think that has to do as much with his breed and size as his behavior- when I've seen him bark at things, it's not in an "I'm-going-to-eat-you" way, it's just an alert bark. We took Maddie to Ben and Jerry's free cone day yesterday and people moved away from us downtown and gave us the side eye, and she's not even close to as big as your boys! People associate GSDs with police dogs and they can look imposing, especially when they bark at things.

So anyway, Behr isn't ready to take his CGC. He will be someday, though, and in the meantime, I'm sending a virtual Pet Owner of the Year award for spending thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours training your dogs to be well behaved citizens, even though you guys are totally diligent enough that I really don't think you ever have to worry about someone getting bitten. You could just have the attitude "meh, my dogs scare you but they're on leash and not hurting anyone, so I'll let them be free to be who they are." And I really wouldn't condemn you for it. But you have gone above and beyond to try and make your dogs as non-threatening as possible even though they likely will never hurt anyone in their lifetimes even with no training! So you guys are awesome. And Behr will get there eventually.

*HUGS*

Couch Potatoes

Buddy won't usually do this, but Behr looks for the invitation at all times!

Behr's Lessons

Tonight was our last group lesson with Behr. Next Wednesday we go at 8:15 to see if we can pass the Canine Good Citizen Program! HA.

On the other hand, Behr did very well tonight, just like the last lesson. Will and two other dog owners were impressed and commented on how he was improving around other dogs and people.

I posted the requirements on here last June, well it's April and we still aren't there yet!

Here are the items:
Test 1: Accepting a friendly stranger
Test 2: Sitting politely for petting
Test 3: Appearance and grooming
Test 4: Walking on a loose lead
Test 5: Walking through a crowd
Test 6: Sit and Down on command and Stay in place
Test 7: Coming when called
Test 8: Reacting to another dog
Test 9: Reacting to distraction
Test 10: Supervised separation

Can your dog be a CGC?

Cuddle Bug

So we broke our rule....

You were expecting to see Jade or Sheena with a title like that, huh? Behr would lay on the couch with me for hours. Buddy and Jade want nothing to do with it!

Behr Talkin' to Buddy

Uh...me sitting in my jeans and bathrobe, I'm home sick and freezing! Now that I looked at the video I totally know we have NO life, so you don't need to remind me. Oh and that we are dog crazy...I know that too!

Behr as a Baby!

8 weeks at 14 lbs.

6 months at 65 lbs.

These photos were taken by Missy Hume in Peachtree City, GA. She owned him at the time these were taken, we never got to see him like this, but isn't he so cute?! I think he weighs 79lbs now. I think he is kinda skinny, but the vet says he is perfect, anymore weight would cause harm to his hips. Check out more of Missy's work at momentsbymissy.com