Thursday, July 25, 2013

Updated: It's Real Now

This seems so real now. Maybe because I was in such a fog when I lost Stella I don't remember anything like this, oh right I was way medicated by now...and currently I am Way sober. I'm getting an IV oh wow I forgot all this stuff. Who can bring me an Ativan cocktail?

So yesterday I wasn't sad, well that has very much changed. I am so very sad.
Update: 11 hours post D&C. I feel fine, and have felt physically fine since I woke up at 2:45pm. I felt a little sad and kept my eyes closed for a while so tears just ran down and I didn't sob. I think the first recovery (the one without Will) would have gone faster had I opened up and had conversations. So more Valium, thank you nurse lady.

Back track a bit: About 12:20pm they came in to my room and began to wheel me out but not before saying here is some Valium it will work in about 30-45 seconds. It sure did, we hadn't made two immediate corners before I felt it. I was completely asleep before we got to the next room. 

I don't remember a thing. So all in all a little nervous before, but really fine afterward. Anyone else ever having to do've got it, you can do hard things-at least that's what I've been told. Jaimie do you have original picture so I can see your face too? Resend if so :)

I think Will is going to be okay. After seeing myself today and being alert to everything happening before the procedure I can totally see why this is very hard on him. Not only losing another baby, but watching me go through this again. This is before meds picture, even though it doesn't look like it. I had cried a lot this morning. 

Update: I didn't bleed at all after the D&C. It was over and done. I drove home the very next day 2 hours to stay with my mom. I did cramp a bit after being out too long that night, but was fine on her couch. 

My period took 5 weeks to the day to begin.


  1. I will resend. :)

    You continue to amaze me over and over. Maybe weird to say, but you're quickly becoming a professional at this. Which means, helping others with their similar experiences. But, you're probably already doing that.

  2. I love you and you are strong! I hope that I can help you find peace after the sadness fades!