After a lot of medication, Behr continued to have Grand Mal Seizures #8 and #9 within an hour, and possibly more once we got to the e-vet last night. The next step would have been invasive with anesthesia and a breathing tube in his throat. Around 11:30 we decided to let him go. This was the hardest thing we have ever done in our life. We went back to the e-vet and loved on him one last time. I watched the shots go in, and I'm not sure I should have done that, but I didn't want Will going alone.
We came home at midnight and didn't sleep much but still woke up at 5:30am and then around 7am. I'm not at work, but plan to go in shortly.
Did I jinx this? My old blog was named Two Dogs in a Pod...meant for Jade and Behr, never meant to get Buddy. I also just received Feeling Outnumbered? How to Enjoy your Multi-Dog Household from Barnes & Noble. I'm sure not, and in a few days I will realize it was the right choice.
BUT if you know me, I can't decide where to eat dinner for fear of making a bad choice. Or whether or not to buy this house we hear about today. Much less to end Behr's life what if he would have had a good day today and wanted me to throw his Orbee? or the next step of meds would have worked like a charm.
I, too agonize over my decisions -large or small.
ReplyDeleteOne thing is certain: Behr was a happy dog when he had a home with you and Will, and his other siblings. You gave that doggie hope again.
He loved having you as a family. He never would've have gotten that, had you not chosen him!
Behr will always be a part of your life, family, and heart. Not a thing will ever change that.
ReplyDeleteLove you guys tons, we are thinking of you. A & A
Oh Amy, my heart just breaks for you. Behr is such a sweet and beautiful boy, those are two things that will never change. He couldn't have been luckier to be a part of your family and thank you for making the selfless decision to let him rest.
ReplyDeleteAce and I are sending lots of fluffy love your way. ;o)
And one of my favorite writings as well:
"There is a cycle of love and death that shapes the lives of those who choose to travel in the company of animals. It is a cycle unlike any other. To those who have never lived through its turnings or walked its rocky path, our willingness to give our hearts with full knowledge that they will be broken, seems incomprehensible. Only we know how small a price we pay for what we receive: our grief, no matter how powerful it may be, is an insufficient measure of the joy we have been given." ~Anonymous