How did we spend the due date? Here is my original post about this topic: Stella's Day. Since it just past I will tell you a little more. I woke up okay but then got sad real quick. I think it was the music that was a trigger. I cried for a while and just laid on Will. You know how I do it...attempting to not cry, not let my jaw tremble, not let tears drip down my face, not to breath funny and then he wouldn't know. He would just think I was hugging on him. Well at least that's what I think I'm doing, but he's a pretty smart guy so I probably don't have him fooled.
We spent the due date remembering, and it wasn't a day full of tears. I thought it might be, but it was okay. We went through Stella's belongings, here is my favorite dress from my mama. This picture doesn't do it justice, it is the cutest thing ever.
We also went to Botany Bay at Edisto. Here is another photo from the day.
Ok so thinking about your posts I've been reading & not sure if this is something that would help you but my counselor had me do this & it helped me. Make a list of the reasons you are sad & another with reasons you are mad. It doesn't have to be written all at once. Write a few things that one to mind then add every so often until you feel you have no more to add. Organizing thoughts to be written & seeing them essentially can help you make sense of them & in a way, accept them. I had a couple lists (we can talk about why later) in my wallet for years. I hadn't written anything on them for a while but every so often I'd take them out & read them. I'd compare them to how I felt when I wrote them to how I felt reading them again. I just took them out of my wallet before our Corpus move! Not because I didn't want them anymore but more or less because I could recite the lists and realized I had talked myself through understanding or accepting each point so I didn't need the actual lists anymore. It was a little liberating from those sad/negative feelings.
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