Tonight at group support we spoke about Christmas. I am beginning to get a little worried. My behavior after Thanksgiving was horrible. When we got in the car, I immediately said I could have done without that, and didn't really need to ever return, in a very ugly voice. I was pissed. How can you be thankful when life sucks?
All the couples tonight spoke of doing something completely different for Christmas, they aren't doing the regular thing. One girl I'm close with described last year doing what the family wanted and trying to do the same routine. She was miserable and cried most of the week. Yikes.
Thankfully we are the oldest grandchild and no one has children yet. The house isn't full of babies. There is one distant cousin that has babies, and I have seen the new baby once since Stella died. However, I hope I don't have to see them this at Christmas. Maybe we can make a plan to sneak out the backdoor and leave for the mountains if they show up. Gosh, a positive pregnancy test would make this easier.
Peeing on a stick update: Well the Dollar Tree tests don't work before your missed period. So they won't work until Friday or so...I went and bought a generic First Response double pack at Walmart earlier today. I have already wasted one tonight, even though if you're testing early it said use morning urine. Whatever. I will test again tomorrow morning, so far big ole negatives.
I swear I feel pregnant...but really pregnant and PMS are about the same thing. Hey, at least I've positive thinking that is very un-Amy.