I left her!

Last Sunday I went to church. We hadn't been in quite a while. Jenna had just woken from her nap when we arrived, so I knew she wasn't going back to sleep like she normally does. We went into the sanctuary equipped with her headphones. She watched the band play some songs and then it was time to sit and be quiet. Ha. She was talking and clapping so I decided to go look at the nursery. 

I wasn't prepared, they asked does she have a snack um no, wait yes some in her bag. Water? Nope. Bottle? Nope. When did eat last? No idea. They asked where would I be located in the church. I wanted to say her grandma is listening to the sermon. I'll be in the car taking a nap.  

It seemed ok :) and the pastor's wife took her and off they went. I returned to the sanctuary where I couldn't focus. Mama patted my leg, I know like "I'm proud of you, you'll be okay." If your baby needs you they put your number up on the screen. Well I stared at the screen bottom strip just in case. I might miss it! During prayer I kept peeking, what if they flashed the number up! Like they'd do it during prayer, but whatever. 

I did pay a little attention once I sat there long enough. It was about working and your job, so when it was time I pinned "please help me with my new summer job" up on the cross. 

When the sermon was over I went, nope, fast walked like the old folks at the mall to scoop her up. She was sitting on someone's lap eating Cheerios. She looked happy. :) 

Today as I end my paying job, I'm scared. I've been counting down days to summer since the day my maternity leave was over. Days to be with Jenna. Days to do fun stuff. Now I'm like panic. It's going to be hard. Today is my last day before the hard job begins. What if I try to do too much each day. What if she's grumpy. What if she doesn't want to do what I want to do. What if we end up in the poor house, cause I have a laundry list of things I want to do with her. What if I hate being at home. What if I'm crazy tired. 

One day at a time...cheers to the summer. It begins in just a few hours!