Monday, January 20, 2014

Pregnant

Alright I'm going with this saying...
The Fourth Time is the Charm!

Friday, Dec 27th BFP. Started progesterone immediately. 
Bloodwork done that same day and the following Sunday. 
HCG Numbers look good. 60 to 181, I'll take it. Progesterone looks good as well, but to continue taking it can't hurt. (Now I have different thoughts, like what if it saves a bad pregnancy?) 

But what happens happens. Can't fix it or do anything about it. Live for today.

I have such different feelings this time. I feel okay. I feel like I am strong enough to handle anything. A small part of me worries about what I will be like if this is another loss. But I don't stress about it as I have in the past. No looking for blood or googling things I shouldn't. I didn't demand an early ultrasound. In the past I have had much earlier appointments, but I'm okay with waiting until 8 weeks. We will be able to see more. 

I am thinking very much into the future--strollers, nursery, moving stuff around...so I hope this ends well and I haven't made more heartache for myself. I have just a few more days until an ultrasound. Will said he will breathe a lot easier when he sees the heartbeat. 

A little backtracking. In November we both had a lot of testing done at the fertility clinic. Everything came out well, we have no foreseeable problems regarding egg, uterus, sperm, chromosomes, or anything that will mess with babymaking. I do feel that this has allowed me to be more calm about this pregnancy.

I am pregnant today and I am happy. 

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